As mature Believers, we’re supposed to do relationships different from the average person. Our strategy for relationship building should be strategic and biblical because the Word of God gives us instructions on who and who not to connect (become yoked) with. The Word of the Lord is the only true standard we’re to live by because it leads us to His intended purpose and success without fail in every area of our lives. In order to discern the agenda of the people we come into contact with, we must first understand who they are, what they bring to the table, and the significance of why they’re wanting to connect with us. On the contrary, what we should never do before we understand a person’s place in our life is to move them into a position of “power and intimacy” (closeness, trusted, familiar) when they haven’t earned the rights to that place.
In addition, before we enter into relationships of any sort, we must ask God, “What is their assignment concerning us?” FYI, all relationships come with an assignment that teach us life lessons; even the ones God tells us “not” to enter! However, the ones God “never” intended for us to enter are the very relationships we end up going through unnecessary trials within that waste our time, money, and energy. We must keep in mind that some individuals we come into contact with were only meant to connect with us for a particular reason. Other individuals are for a season and some for a lifetime. Knowing this very fact is the wisdom that’s needed in order to make sound decisions and categorize the people we meet along the way.
Additionally, the fact that some relationships are only for a reason, a season, or a lifetime; I would conclude that the only people who have the capacity to be in our lives for a lifetime are those who share the same spiritual pursuit (consistently maturing in God) as we do. Honestly, no relationship will ever last when there are two different belief systems on the table. For example, one of us can’t believe that Jesus is the son of God and the other one believes in nothing or that the universe is God (because it isn’t). That’s not a God ordained relationship, that’s a compromise heading for destruction! Here’s proof: “Do not be unequally bound together with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” 2 CORINTHIANS 6:14 AMP
“Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.” 1 CORINTHIANS 15:33 AMP
The Word of God has confirmed that we should always be equally yoked with those whom we’re in relationship with or else their ungodly ways will corrupt our godly moral standards. But when we become friends with individuals who keep the Word of God as their foundation while seriously walking His Word out, those are the individuals we as Believers can regard as lifelong connections. It’s imperative that we only connect with likeminded people when it comes to our circle of influence and intimacy, or else our relationships will only last for a “reason” or for a “season,” but not for a lifetime.
When it comes to meeting people, one of the number one traps we fall victim to is not having enough discernment concerning them or we allow our emotions and desperation to blindside us. There’s nothing worse than having people or a person operate in your life as a “lifetime connection” when they were only supposed to be there for either a reason or a season. How could something like that happen? It happens because we often live subconsciously and not consciously. The truth is this: when we misplace people in our life due to a lack of godly wisdom, that relationship will never work out because anything that’s scheduled with an early expiration date turns sour when it expires. Selah!
Here’s the thing: the real reason why we have so many problems with letting expired relationships go is because we didn’t keep those associations in their proper place, with their appointed timeline. And because of that reason, we feel obligated to keep them in our life being that they’ve been around for a long time. NEGATIVE! We should never allow the length of time become the reason why we keep expired people around when God has said, “Times up!” We must understand people-placement and intentionally assess the individuals that show up and who sent them. Let’s keep it 100; not everyone is sent by God! However, knowing the difference is everything! Just know that we will always bring unnecessary trouble into our lives when we don’t understand God’s principles for choosing people to be in relationship with as well as knowing whether they’re in our life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Nevertheless, when we do things God’s way, He keeps us spiritually perceptive and connected to those whom we are supposed to be connected with.
Keep this in mind: relationships are very important and God uses them and people in general to get His work accomplished on the earth. But never think for a second that it is God’s will for us to be “intimately” connected (married, dating, friends, business partners, etc.) to anyone who is not of the same faith, living according to His will and Word. We must know those who labor among us so that we can properly discern who and what we’re dealing with in order to avoid giving the wrong people the right place in our lives or an extended stay when their reason and season is up.
- Michael Moorer